Thursday, May 6, 2010

Just Enough for the City

Back in college, I used to lay down in my dorm room with my slow jams playlist in the background. It seems so long ago now that I used to just stare out the window, listening to "Nothing Even Matters" by Lauryn Hill, and feeling just like that.

That feeling made me so high. I often wonder...where did it go? What was the transition point that I stopped having inner peace and started not just caring about things but worrying about them? I always used to believe that you can't stress over what you can't change. But it was so different then. I was living for me.

It's like I woke up one morning and realized I was a grown ass woman, sitting in a grown ass world, paying grown ass bills, and that thing...that high feeling... it disappeared.

How do you go from living in a dream to living beside it?

Nothing even matters. Such a beautiful, carefree song. But so much matters now. I'm no longer living for me.

I think I'm living just enough for the city.

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