Thursday, April 15, 2010

Maybe it's time to be Honest

"Even the sun goes down, heroes eventually die, horoscopes often lie, and sometime Y', nothin is for sure, nothin' is for certain, nothin' lasts forever" - Outkast

I'm stressed. I have a good job, a nice apartment, a solid car.. all in Brooklyn no less. All of which I'm a. struggling to manage, b. struggling to pay for, and c. struggling to keep clean oil in.

Maybe it's time for a change.

This morning I was shuffling around on my playlist, and Aquemini came on. For the first time since hearing this song years ago, it hit me as to how painstakingly true it is. Even though I'm happy, lately my happiness has come and gone in short spurts. Even the sun goes down.

Maybe it's time for a vacation.

The other day, I took the 4 hour trip home to arrive in the beautiful suburbs, surrounded by fresh air, trees, and a laundry machine at my disposal. Ah, the good life.

While home, I reflected on my new job that I just got. I think of my old job. The show is going off the air, and the host is heading into retirement. Heroes eventually die.

It's a weird contradiction, because I'm blessed to be given such an opportunity. And when people ask how it's going, I'm all coke and a smile. But I know that I am surrounded by people I cannot relate to, whether it be because I'm the youngest, or because I am the "brownest."

It's wrong to feel this way at such a young age. I mean, the rhetoric plow drives through my head everyday. Be the change you wish to see in the world! Our youth is the hope for the future! I can lead the way! I'm a Leo after all...Yea. Horoscopes often lie.

In the course of chasing my dreams, I never realized I would just want to stop and have my head in the clouds.

I'm struggling no doubt, but maybe this is all a process of growth. Maybe I need ro revaluate where I am and where I want to be.

Maybe it's time to be honest. Nothin is for sure, nothin is for certain, nothin lasts forever.

1 comment:

Unbreakable said...

Its definitely a part of the growth process, i caould remember when i just got out of college and got my first accounting job i was very happy that i got it, but other aspects of my life was not, i felt confused,i got to asking myself is this what i really want? but i got use to it all and now i am feeling much better.

Its growth embrace it.