Maybe it's time to be Honest

"Even the sun goes down, heroes eventually die, horoscopes often lie, and sometime Y', nothin is for sure, nothin' is for certain, nothin' lasts forever" - Outkast

I'm stressed. I have a good job, a nice apartment, a solid car.. all in Brooklyn no less. All of which I'm a. struggling to manage, b. struggling to pay for, and c. struggling to keep clean oil in.

Maybe it's time for a change.

This morning I was shuffling around on my playlist, and Aquemini came on. For the first time since hearing this song years ago, it hit me as to how painstakingly true it is. Even though I'm happy, lately my happiness has come and gone in short spurts. Even the sun goes down.

Maybe it's time for a vacation.

The other day, I took the 4 hour trip home to arrive in the beautiful suburbs, surrounded by fresh air, trees, and a laundry machine at my disposal. Ah, the good life.

While home, I reflected on my new job that I just got. I think of my old job. The show is going off the air, and the host is heading into retirement. Heroes eventually die.

It's a weird contradiction, because I'm blessed to be given such an opportunity. And when people ask how it's going, I'm all coke and a smile. But I know that I am surrounded by people I cannot relate to, whether it be because I'm the youngest, or because I am the "brownest."

It's wrong to feel this way at such a young age. I mean, the rhetoric plow drives through my head everyday. Be the change you wish to see in the world! Our youth is the hope for the future! I can lead the way! I'm a Leo after all...Yea. Horoscopes often lie.

In the course of chasing my dreams, I never realized I would just want to stop and have my head in the clouds.

I'm struggling no doubt, but maybe this is all a process of growth. Maybe I need ro revaluate where I am and where I want to be.

Maybe it's time to be honest. Nothin is for sure, nothin is for certain, nothin lasts forever.

How Am I Supposed to Write?

I was watching Love Jones the other day, one of my favorite romantic love movies EVER. Like second to maybe Brown Sugar and Love and Basketball. And though the premise is like those of all other romantic movies, I totally fell in love with the idea of Nia Long, the photographer, and Larenz Tate, the "Renaissance black man" who recited poetry, quoted Bernard Shaw, and effortlessly romanced Nia to the sounds of Miles Davis.

I'll never forget one of my favorite parts of the movie: They are on their first date and they're walking down a secluded street at night talking, getting to know each other. He's talking about his book and what he reads. She says what she reads and admits she wants to burn her notebook. Larenz Tate's response:

"Oh no. Your notebook is your notebook. It's about reaching your potential. No one else's."

I started scribbling in my notebook in second grade. I had to write a short story about a family. Since then, I just wrote whatever, whenever I got to the urge too. Poetry, short stories, essays. I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I know I wanted it to involve some form of me telling a story.

If any of you follow me on twitter, you know that I've been posting a few articles on Clutch Magazine over the course of the past few weeks. Each post has received a small amount of commentary, nothing extraordinary for Clutch, who I've seen receive up to 90 plus comments on one post.

I see plenty "good job, great post" comments, but I also see a fair share of criticism. All well and good of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But everytime I write something I always have to repeat in my head that these are my thoughts, feelings, expressions, etc. and no matter what, they are original. Not only that, but they mean something.

But then the question becomes - how am I supposed to write? I mean, how is anyone supposed to write. Noun, verb, object. Basic grammar. Sentence structure. Construct a story. Keep the audience interested. Oh, and make it good! But don't sound like a fool. Read and write. Often. Matter of fact, everyday.

I did that and still do, so it really becomes more of a subjective question. I'm slowly becoming more analytical about what Larenz Tate says. Because he was right...it is about reaching my potential. And that's all that matters.

Baduism at it's finest: Window Seat

Erykah Badu's new video, "Window Seat", has set off a series of criticism from both angles. It depicts a fully dressed Erykah Badu stripping down until she is completely naked, walking down Dealey Plaza in Dallas, and getting shot. It was the same block where JFK was shot. When she falls down, the words Groupthink falls out of her mouth.

I loved it.

Badu is one of those artists that can just do it. The symbolism in the video is powerful: We are a society that has become complacent to the Groupthink mentality, and very simply, we must evolve. As written on her back.

Real. But clearly the symbolism was lost among the fact that she was walking down the street. Naked.

Love it more. Not just because I'm a nudist at heart. I digress.

I find that most of the criticism coming from the video is the fact that she was naked. And even in a society that is so accustomed to implied nudity, we just aren't ready for nudity in its very rawness, sans apology. Unless it's behind closed doors of course, then...all hands on deck!

But out in the streets? Oh no! Cover the children's eyes! Arrest the nudist! Condemn the stripper!

Are we really a society that conforms to a groupthink mentality? Perhaps. If it were white guys stripping down the street in Times Square would it make any difference? Probably.

Because that's who inspired the video. Matt and Kim, who stripped down in the "Lessons Learned" video. So it's possible that because she is beautiful, bountiful, and black walking...no...stomping down the street. Unashamed. Promoting a revolutionary idea....to evolve...is not as easily accepted.

To hell with everyone else. I'll take that window seat please.

Watch the video below:

RIP BIG

Today is the 13th anniversary of Christopher Wallace aka BIG's death. One of the greatest rappers. RIP.

Miguel Jontel, a "sure thing"

"You could be the lover, I'll be the fighter baby,

If I'm the blunt, you could be the lighter babe, Fire it up

Writer baby, you could be the quote

If I'm the lyric baby, you could be the note. Record that"

What's that you say? I could be the quote? Deal. Is this the prerequisite for a date? Dinner or movie, perhaps? Because after listening to "Sure thing", I've realized that you might just be the man for me. You, Miguel Jontel, are a man after my own heart. And if this was speed dating, you would get points for originality, content, and smoothness.

To whoever is reading this, forgive me, but Miguel made me fall almost instanteneously in love with his flow, and I've latched on to his style. A mix of Maxwell, Tank, and a bit of Babyface, when he blows, his music is going to caress the airwaves so much that we won't be able to get enough.

Miguel Jontel has written songs for Mary J. Blige and Usher among others. As well as collaborated with Neyo. His debut album is said to drop soon, entitled "Gravity".

Listen to some of his songs: "Sure Thing", "Hero", and "Pick up the Pace".

Thoughts?